My cookie monster (that’s what I’m calling my new love right now-I don’t think I know anyone who loves cookies as much, other than our beloved Sesame Street CM. Seriously, this man would eat, drink and breathe cookies if he could) and I perforated our bubbles even more last week!

We went for a picnic that was meant to be followed by a game of badminton.

Our picnic was delicious….but it was never followed by badminton!

We sat under the trees of a natural preserve, in front of a lake. The scene was romantic and beautiful.

We ended up making out on our picnic blanket.

I was transported to another state in my mind and body. Forgot all about time and apparently all the insects, too-I got a nice huge tick bite afterward. Apparently my man wasn’t the only one biting me that afternoon!

Realizing badminton wasn’t going to happen (it was actually getting dark), we wanted to do something more.

In a pandemic those options are really limited.

I hadn’t visited his home (besides a quick bathroom visit that afternoon) and we knew our making out session was far from over. The decision was easy-a revisit to his place and this time, intentional making out was on our menu.

Well, his dog had another idea.

The fact being displayed here is that there is another form of contraception that has not become popularized yet.

Get a dog.

I actually adore his dog. She’s incredibly affectionate. Wags her tail every time I see her. She loves being loved-and that love mostly by my new love.

So imagine how she felt when I landed in her spot on the bed.

There was no way was she going to have that.

Initial attempts to block her path with a chair (no, that was not my idea-my sweetheart has boundaries, too) resulted in heart breaking whining.

Eventually he gave in (I couldn’t stand being the bitch here-pun intended) and she jumped right on to the bed.

In between our faces.

Her ass to me…and sat right down.

As I was watching her I told her that I was proud of her for staking her place. In her mind, only one being can lick her owner’s face…and I wasn’t the one. I understood. A girl has got to do what a girl has got to do.

Funnily enough, when we moved down to another part of the bed she decided to lay down where we were before-just as a sign that she won.

We thought we could get away with more kissy face as long as we were horizontally placed on the bed.

Nope. She was having none of that.

She came right back, sticking her face right into ours.

‘What the #$%#! do you think you are doing’?, was probably what she would have said out loud, if she could speak.

So, we had to give in. Annoyed, sexually frustrated and humored, we walked away from the thoughts of having any intimacy with her around.

Like a condom, she was the perfect cock blocker.

But I can pet her, love her and adore her despite that.

She raises an important point without knowing it. Female power.

Don’t let anyone take your place. If you plan on sharing, make sure the agreement is clear and you know what your part is. Don’t give in unless you really are okay with all the possible outcomes. Give love and you will receive love. Don’t let anyone come between you and your man. And if you are a dog, you are one lucky woman. You are forever cuddly and beautiful. Good luck to us human females who have to battle that on the bed!

4 Replies to “The Cutest Cock Blocker”

  1. This is too cute! And I have to agree with your idea that she’s got dibs. But I am sure that you will find a way to co-exist happily 🙂

  2. As a dog owner I both laughed my way through you blog and feel your pain. My dog (who happens to be the bestest doggie in the whole world) does just that. She steps right in like, “Hey ya’ll! Whatchya doing over here”, without aggression, but definitely stating her role in this house! Oh, that will be a fun relationship to read on about. =)

Comments are closed.