I have big news! My relationship has progressed!
I have a boyfriend!
And the funny thing…
I haven’t met him…!
I’ll pause here for you to smile/laugh/wonder/hold a face displaying that I’m crazy.
And I willingly accept all accusations of crazy. All of us have a bit of that within. But I don’t think this is crazy as much as it is seizing the day. Carpe Diem. The situation as it is with our COVID-19 world requires extreme measures.
How does this happen? How do you feel so close to someone you haven’t shared air space with?
Intimacy. It’s such an interesting concept.
When you are present, as one of my close friends said this week, that is intimacy. Nothing is missing when you are present.
We usually associate intimacy with being in each others arms and beds. Physical closeness. But intimacy can be in the measured pause, the soft spoken word, the unspoken word through eye contact, the sharing of a feeling or belief that is kept between two.
I share intimate moments with my son, family, friends and none of those are sexual (thank god)!
In dating, the concept of being without the sexual aspect is hard to comprehend. It’s always been a huge part of my dating life. If not the act of sex it was the physicality of being together-holding hands, kissing, feeling close physically.
But I think I was doing it all wrong. Or maybe that was what I needed to bring me to the place I’m at now.
Dating should be about getting to know the other person. Deeply.
The idea of physical connection and chemistry is definitely real but I think it’s overpowering and removes the other very important aspects of getting to know another in dating.
The way someone really thinks and feels. Their value systems, what makes them laugh or pissed. What they do in the morning when they wake up and how they live. What do they treasure and love in life? What do they like about their lives? Who do they admire, love and enjoy being with? Are they happy? Do they know how to enjoy life?
Those are some of the questions most of us want answers to and understand that is what we will get in a relationship but to get there we have to make it past a first date or two. In my past experiences with dating the physical chemistry took over and it became hot and steamy too soon.
I know that the feeling I have of wanting to be in my new flame’s physical space is growing! It’s incredibly frustrating that we won’t be able to do much more than sit at a 6 foot distance from each other when we do meet (which we definitely intend on doing)!
But I also realize we are both making choices to follow this path. Of not being in each others’ spaces and to continue to grow a relationship with each other online. So, if I have made a conscious choice then I need to happily accept it and not complain!
So the creativity of our dates continue! Thankfully he has an incredibly imaginative mind so boredom is NOT something we will probably experience (that’s a taboo word in my life, anyway). As you know we’ve cooked together, played music for each other, played games, talk for hours (literally). Now we’ve watched a movie too, attended a concert on zoom and we have a very long list of to-be-dates that include some interesting versions of poker. I will leave that to your imagination! (Oh, and not only did he receive and love my unexpected letter, he sent me a package the very next day)!!!
The pandemic has provided me this much needed slow pace. I was really ready to get to know someone deeply and then COVID-19 arrived, sending me an unexpected gift of love.
Thank you soooo much Nat!!!! I’m loving my journey…it’s the best trip!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️
Celebrating you celebrating yourself 👏🏼🥳 Love that you’re going more inward with your inquiries. You’re on a wonderful journey 💕💕💕
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