My update from last week for you IS people don’t change…unless they want to. But you may already know that. So, I have a story for you.
As suspected, the man I reunited with last week did not change his ways. He continues to be a less than ideal communicator via text and remains to be at the same place he was 9 months ago. He says he doesn’t have time to dedicate to relationships and can’t put effort into building one. BUT he would want a casual ‘relationship’ without expectations.
Managing expectations is definitely a challenge of being human. Something that Vedanta teaches-how to let go of attachment and needs from others. As a student of life I realize that is one of the hardest things to overcome and learn…and I don’t completely agree with it, either. It seems dishonest to oneself and others, to imagine not having any expectations of another. Don’t you EXPECT honesty, kindness, love, compassion from a friend/lover? Expecting another to honor their word? Be on time? (to be really specific)!
The expectation that this man was trying to get away from was accountability and responsibility. He wanted to feel clear from the pressure of needing to be there for me, emotionally/physically/spiritually, outside of his own needs. WAY to convenient for him. And it was exactly the opposite of what I wanted, so I told him as much. He wanted to know if I wanted to ‘sleep on it’ and talk in a few days-why would I need to do that if he was so clear about what he wanted/didn’t want and I was as clear?
The really cool thing was I saw myself as another person going through this experience and watched my growth from last year. Nine months ago, when we first broke up, I was beside myself. I was sobbing, totally heartbroken and felt despair. This time I was crystal clear about what I needed and wanted, had no trouble expressing it and acknowledging our needs were different. I was able to tell him what I thought without losing myself. Not one tear was shed!! GO DIANA!!
THAT was probably the reason his name popped up in my head and I reached out to him. To observe the learning I’ve experienced and the powerful place I’m at. When I step back and look at life like this, I’m in awe. Just at the timing and magical way that things unfold. It’s MAGIC ALL AROUND!
So now I need that magic to give me the result of this learning in the form of an amazing, sexy, strong, thoughtful man!