My latest observation about Zooming is bringing me closer to an understanding of human connection.
Many of us say we are missing that human connection-in person…but I have another avenue to offer you. Tell me what you think.
Last night I entered a new speed dating event!
As you know, the last one wasn’t so successful. I didn’t feel totally at ease with the process that night…partly because it was the first time I was doing speed dating online and also, because I have the habit of wanting to know everything I can…not always a good idea on a first (and that too, a 5 min) date!
So, this time I did it differently.
I decided to take on the role of going-with-the-flow. No planned questions. The only plan was to enjoy myself!
Since all the lessons I’ve been learning lately are telling me I need to sit, let things be, receive, observe, try not to control-imbibe the role of the divine goddess-I decided to be a good student…
…and I had so much fun!
The energy shared in the zoom room with all 20 of us (10 women and 10 men) was alive, flirtatious and honestly present.
Because we can’t talk at the same time on Zoom it presents a forum for a possibly perfect interaction. We all need to listen for others to hear what someone is saying.
That’s 101 of human conversation!
But the majority of us fail that most of the time.
We talk over each other, interrupt, get distracted by someone walking by, the dog on a leash, a flashy sign over a building, a group people talking next to you, the hot guy or gal on the corner….!
But on Zoom, all of that is gone!
It offers that space where you can’t possibly interrupt since no one would be able to hear anything (you also stand out as the interrupter with that green frame around your face each time you talk-no one wants to be that person)!
You don’t have distractions, unless you put them around you purposefully!
You have to look directly at the screen and into the face of the people speaking to hear them-unlike a room/outdoor space where you can feign listening but in actuality you are really scoping out the place!
I think it gives us incredible power to connect with people. Really deeply and meaningfully.
The group session broke off into one-on-one dates for 5 minutes, alternating group time and date time until we met with every possible match. It was so well organized and ran so smoothly that I think it was better than the time I did this in person…albeit 10-12 years ago!
There’s an ease to all of us being at home. No one is rushing to get back to feed the dog/put their child to bed/pay the baby sitter/get into the car for a long drive back.
I’m not saying that this is the way it should be forever…of course not. I just don’t think it’s all that bad…and I think we have preserved human connection.
Just like I hope we all learn lessons from COVID and make fundamental changes that last-reducing our carbon footprints, exuding kindness to everyone we interact with, caring for our human race and being creative with how we do that, taking time to slow down and excelling at self care…I hope we can also pay attention when speaking with each other and minimize the distractions.
Really enjoying the person speaking (unless they annoy you, then all permission to walk away)!
In the same vein, I have a parallel story going on with two men from my past who decided to get in touch with me last week…and right now, both of them are miserably failing in the human connection role!
One decided to text me after one year-he fell off the face of the planet last year and I guess he found his GPS and reunited with me via text last week.
Being the hopeful romantic, I thought he might have changed and really wanted to connect. Since he said so.
He said I was a ‘fit’ for him yet he doesn’t message back and when he does it’s a few words.
Doesn’t this sound familiar???
I am screaming this out loud to the Universe. With all of you, as my reader witnesses. I am done with men who don’t like to communicate!!!!!!!
Stop testing me!!!!
So, post one-year-later-weird-connections, I get 5 amazing matches from one night of speed dating yesterday! And four of them have already emailed back!
I think the Universe is listening…with all Zoom attention!!!