The quintessential statement in dating is that you need to kiss a lot of frogs…to find that Prince Charming. Well, if that was an accurate thought, then I would have been with Prince Charming eons ago!
In response to my son’s question, “how many men have you kissed?”, I have a count that exceeds most of the expected numbers (if my random interviewing of people I know is a good enough sample)…! And kind of disturbing, too (I have exchanged saliva with that many men?? ).
The really cool thing is that each time I kissed someone I was totally into it. The kisses are an intimate hello and then the kissing becomes conversation of its own. We are communicating without speaking and the depth of the kissing lends itself to what this person is going to mean to me next. And a lot of the times it’s ‘I want more’ and we meet again.
Like most women, since I can’t speak for men, those kisses lend itself to dreaming. Immediately transported to a fantasy land that brings myself with this man I am enjoying the meeting of the lips with and in that dreamscape I am being courted, enjoying sunsets, sharing life stories, taking long drives to remote places to explore together with walks on beaches, biking on trails and sitting by fireplaces sipping tea and sharing one blanket…preferably with little on. We dance, laugh, cook together, go out for dinners and meet each others’ friends and families.
Now how long does this fantasy take to become real? I don’t know-it still hasn’t happened!
The fantasizing is actually a part of the process of pleasure that is created with that kissing. Simply from the release of oxytocin and endorphins. The imagining is as erotic as the actual act of being together. The problem for me here is that the imagination is more enjoyable within my mind than the reality of my life outside of the mind (in respect to what I am dreaming about, of course-finding a partner. My life otherwise is a dream and absolutely fantastic). With that comes disappointment.
I have been sitting and waiting, again, lately. Recently, I met someone incredible and think we have a real connection. I know he felt that way when we met, since he said as much. But since the night we met he and I seem to have a different pace in communication. I like to talk often. Get to know each other. Be involved in each others’ lives…to an extent that is practical, of course. I’m not expecting anyone to move mountains to talk to me, but I am looking for that interest that comes from within. Not one that I have to extract out of another.
That’s where my disappointment stems from. I want to see someone think of me as much I think of him. I want to receive a text when I haven’t had a moment to realize that he hasn’t texted yet. I want to be made important.
I know that is reasonable and necessary, actually, for any real relationship to evolve. So, that makes me wonder about this man I recently met. Perhaps he is another frog I have kissed and is not yet my Prince Charming.
So my question to the Universe is how many freaking frogs am I supposed to kiss? There wasn’t a number attached to that statement! I feel like I might be collecting them all for everyone on the planet! I think it’s my turn now!