Today I had my first in-person date after that amazing face time date last week…
…and it was awesome!
Three hours later we realized it was mid-afternoon and we both had things to do…but could have probably spent the entire day together and never run out of conversation…if we weren’t responsible adults!
He was such a gentleman. Drove a far distance to see me. Complimented me throughout the date, making me feel so comfortable and attended to. Expressed his liking me in various ways, that left me feeling like a school girl-tongue tied and nervous!
Me? Yep. I guess I do have a shy side.
I see it when I’m face to face with men I like.
But apparently not when I’m texting!
Right after we left each other, I told him my desire to kiss him was even more intense.
So, I guess my reciprocation-in-time is a bit delayed!
I think of myself as a great flirt…and I am…but I think I’m best over a gadget. Something about being in front of a man makes me worry about rejection or it’s learned behavior of hesitation that I have to unpeel.
I realize that I put a lot of pressure on myself, most likely from past trauma, wondering if I am loved/liked.
There was nothing he said or did today that should have left me feeling concerned that it was a one way street, yet I left our date hoping he liked me as much I was starting to like him.
And that’s my life’s work. To continue the work of self-love.
Some are naturally able to tap into that inner source and it’s not work.
For me, I have wounds that I have healed but clearly have deeper cords that probably transgress from past lives. I see that clearly. I’ve been given so much love from my family, friends, patients. I really have no reason to question myself.
Yet I do.
And today, after our date, I was a bit obsessed with this question. Does he like me as a friend or as a possible romantic partner?
I recognized the question was not about him. It was about me. What was I lacking? Where did I need to travel to inside my soul to pull out that loving fire?
I want to honor my Shaman here, Katie Nadeau (www.spirit-remedies.com)-she has been so fundamental in helping me naturally ask these insightful questions in ways I probably would not have done before.
So I did what I do well-meditated, journaled, sat and relatively quickly I was able to give myself all the love I was seeking. And had no doubt that he liked me.
And in accordance with the Universal Law, right after that, he texted me!
We have another date coming up in 2 days!
The message to my soul and to all of you who may resonate with this is the following. Everything you need is within. Looking outside for love will not result in you finding it. When you can truly love yourself, others will love you. It’s the law of attraction. I’ve been manifesting…and I know I’m getting closer!