I realized that next year, 2020, will be the ONLY year that we will be able to experience a year with the same double digits in its number! The last time was 1919 and the next one will be 2121. Unless I discover a way to become immortal in human form and be a REALLY youthful 147 year old, I won’t be around to witness 2121. So I am super excited about what 2020 can and will bring!
I studied the numerology of 2020 and it turns out it stands for love and relationships!
Interesting. That is EXACTLY what this whole blog is about. BUT, I took it one step farther. Love and relationship…with YOURSELF. Loving relationship with me. Sure, if a man walks into my life willing to receive and give love to me, I will take that but I am going to make 2020 the year for me to fall deeply and madly in love with ME.
I have been working on that…alot. This past one and a half year journey has been all about the realization that looking for a relationship with another is really about finding the relationship within. I think I finally understand what my acupuncturist, Shaman and energy healer has been telling me all along. Self love is more than accepting and loving who I am, it’s about giving myself the love I would give another.
The first time I heard that I thought ‘whaaaat?’ to myself. How can I kiss myself and have sex with myself? It turns out it’s not that. Yeah, I can masturbate the hell out of myself and fantasize but not only is that an incomplete fantasy, it’s not the point. The point is to give myself the opportunity to fall in love with me the way another would. To spoil myself.
I have gone out on a date with myself. I dressed up for myself, went to a beautiful restaurant, ordered elegant food and enjoyed being with me. I have lit candles, put on soft music and took a bubble bath. I have put on music, lit essential oil diffusers and sat in my comfy couch with a chenille blanket and read/watched a show to spoil myself with a delicious dinner and a luxurious chocolate desert. And of course, I have had my fun under the sheets alone, too.
So, now in 2020 I need to take that one step further. Really dig deeper into that love to get outdoors and experience dancing again. I want to make a list of all the dates I would have with a guy and do those with myself first. I haven’t begun making that list, but come Jan 1st, that list will be ready to run with.
If my man is going to meet me in 2020 he’ll have competition—-ME!
Oh, and to follow up on my last post-the last man standing has fallen. He chose to go away on a weekend when we were planning to meet, so obviously isn’t that into me! But there is someone who has trickled back from one of the sites I was on (one of the men I thought was a catfish) and he’s trying to see if we can create a relationship…but now I’m burned (many times over), so not sure I can trust him! Stay tuned!