The Celtic language describes a soulmate as the blending of two souls together with the words ‘mo anam cara’. When two individuals find their souls united with each other in a deep bond.
My question for the day. What does that mean?
The other day, someone referred to my current boyfriend as my ‘partner’ and I found myself struck. I didn’t realize I had a partner. It hadn’t hit me until that time.
The reason it came up was because I was in an emotionally difficult place and am used to dealing with those types of feelings myself. In all my years I haven’t had anyone to share tribulations of my heart with (outside of my friends and family and those are limited conversations).
So having someone I could talk with at a deeper level was very new to me. It was refreshing, of course.. It created a vulnerability I hadn’t experienced before. I thought really hard about what that meant. To open up and share.
Interestingly enough one of the things I was experiencing with the emotionally charged feelings that day involved a recognition that I didn’t openly share my trauma and abuse with my family and friends when I was in the throes of it. I felt huge guilt around that.
I understand the reason we hide those events. It’s self preservation, protection of self and others, denial of the truth. The list is long.
It can also create a sense of separation from those you aren’t sharing with.
It was curious that this opportunity to open up to my chenyu luoyon (Chinese for someone you love-literal meaning-‘diving fish, swooping geese’-it’s a fabulously interesting story, but for another blog), came up for me that very day.
But the reference word for my loved one was ‘partner’, not anything else more romantic than that. Let’s go back to that.
I don’t really like the word partner. It feels like a business agreement. It lacks feeling and emotion. But I get why it exists.
The words wife and husband can denote ownership/possession. Boyfriend and girlfriend sound temporary, young and perhaps too juvenile. There aren’t many other words in the English language that I find appealing to describe what I am in right now.
I am with a man I love. He loves me. I know that to be true.
I also know that right now we are experiencing growing pains. We are going through a period of managing expectations and trying to figure out what those are. The hardest part of any relationship, really.
That’s what made me think of soulmates.
From my reading and understanding, the soulmate relationship is the one that pushes you to grow. It’s not enough to just be with someone. Soulmates bring up experiences of discomfort for your spiritual and personal growth.
I read a lot of Richard Bach as a young girl and I remember he wrote two books about love that I enjoyed a lot-One and The Bridge Across Forever. Both of those books described relationships between a man and a woman that spanned lifetimes and they found their ways back to each other, but each time it was with more pain and suffering. However, the love grew stronger, each time.
That’s karmic love and the concept of creating contracts with souls when you come back (if you believe in reincarnation, that is, otherwise, this is a whole lot of horse shit-so feel free to call it, too).
In Hindi we have a great equivalent for the word partner-Saathi.
I like it because it’s an expression of being with someone. ‘Saath’ means together. So the word saathi refers to someone who is with you-traveling through life. English is a very simplistic language. It isn’t flowery unless you add a lot more words-unless you are a poet!
Let me come back to why I’m speaking about this.
I had a painful experience and was advised to share. I did. I also told him I surprised myself that I hadn’t considered him as a partner before. How often have you found yourself in a relationship, not realizing the full breadth of it? I think I’ve been alone for so long that I didn’t even know how to recognize that.
I’m so grateful for the reminders that the Universe is sending me through all the amazing people in my life that open my eyes to see what’s in front of me.
Mo Anam Cara, Saathi, Chenyu Luoyo, Microbino Mio, Bogarkam, Matia Mou…all words that translate to ‘my love’. At the end of the day that’s what I am searching for…what all of us are searching for. If the love is found, isn’t that enough? Does it matter what we call it?