So, last year, while I was actively dating online I met someone who I shared instant chemistry with. For the sake of privacy, I am going to call him ‘Waldo’.
We met at a cafe and right there, in front of everyone and in a micro-second, he gathered me into his arms and kissed me so passionately, it was as if it was a scene from a movie. He held me in an embrace dipping me towards the floor and kissed me as if we had met after waiting for each other forever.
And I think we had.
Yes…we had sex that night! And it was knock-your-socks off sex. I felt like a goddess, worshipped and loved. And he was very well taken care of, too, if may say so!
It wasn’t only physical chemistry we shared. We could talk about anything under the sun for hours. Both of us are sapiosexuals so we were constantly turned on!
But, as most love stories, there are more tragic and sad interwoven stories.
He wasn’t fully divorced. The living arrangement was difficult for me to work with. His ex-wife-to-be was still living in the same home, though they had different entrances. They shared the same kitchen and still ate meals together. He had kids, which was great-I do too and love the concept of merging families together-more love to go around!
I found myself struggling with not being able to be a part of his real life and didn’t want to be an outside woman to a man who wasn’t able to be in a free relationship with me.
So, we ended it.
But, we did say to get in touch a year later and see if perhaps life changes would allow for us to be together.
I am a romantic at heart and still believe in fairy tales, so I tried to contact him last week. I had two numbers and one email address. I texted both numbers and sent out the email.
No answer from the email.
One phone number resulted in no reply.
The other phone number apparently belonged to someone who was not Waldo! For purposes of this story, we will call him Odlaw (if you are familiar with ‘Where’s Waldo’, you should get the reference).
Odlaw kindly sent me a message letting me know he wasn’t Waldo and hoped I found him.
A couple days later, Odlaw sent me another message asking me if I was cute!
Bewildered, I asked him if I knew him and that being cute is subjective.
He replied back that I didn’t know him and then asked me my age and where I live.
Reflecting on this strange yet exciting and unexpected interaction, I decided it wouldn’t hurt to communicate with him. I told him my age, asking him the same and confirmed that I had a number I thought belonged to Waldo but really was his.
Our interaction went on for EIGHTEEN HOURS…straight. Through texting on a private texting app (I didn’t know such things existed that remove your texts and messages with encryption for serious privacy). I had such great conversation with him.
Being that believer in the Universe and love, I thought it was a message that we were communicating with each other-and that it was not an accident. He did, as well.
Apparently, he has been trying to get out of a relationship that’s not been serving him but felt stuck. My coming along got him thinking and for a moment, he seriously considered us getting together!
For me, it was bigger. He asked me one very important question no man has ever asked me before: “When do you feel most sexy”?
It took me less than one second to reply and till today I am so impressed with my answer: “All the time”.
And I meant it. That was a ‘wow’ moment for me. Had he asked me that question last year, I know that would not have been the answer. But now, after all this time of really honing in on my sexuality and who I am as a woman, what I want from a relationship, I really have begun to love being me and I don’t need anything to MAKE me feel sexy!
It took Odlaw for me to realize that.
We aren’t meeting, after all. Odlaw has to figure his life out. He says he knows more about what he wants now-he called me a Goddess, shared compliments all of us need to hear from another and gave me some real excitement for a short period of time.
I was disappointed, of course. He was a gentleman with deep and provocative thoughts. He seemed so connected to his spirit. It tells me there are many men out there for me and all of those wanting one.
I thought it would have been an amazing story if we ended up together, but thinking about it, it’s an even more amazing story with this ending. I met a perfect stranger with the intent to find Waldo. I never found Waldo (and still wonder how he is) but found more of me!
Waldo, if you are out there reading this, please find me!
Love how you honor the connections even when they’re brief! It’s always so tempting to say SCREW that guy when when the connection burns huge and then vanishes. Love your openness to connection and focus on your own experience rather than hyper-judgment/analysis of theirs. Definitely something I’m working on (which is probably why your grace in this jumped out at me!)
Awwww Innana! Thank you for saying that! 😊 In my experience I’ve seen most people don’t intend to be hurtful. I choose inner peace over anger!! 💞
That was wonderful and inspiring. I too am starting dating and was about to say I will just be alone, because I don’t want to deal with the nonsense that’s out there. Reading this was like getting a sign telling me not to give up. I felt every word you wrote as if it were me writing it. This is how I want to feel and by George I’m going to get there. Keep on writing so I can keep reading. Thanks for the inspiring message.
You are one hot momma and I’m there to cheer you on the way through your own self discovery! Don’t give up! Your journey has just begun! ❤️