So it’s all possible!
You can fall in love during COVID-19! Magic can happen. All the things you want in and from love can and will find you…if you are really ready for the dance!
I am madly in love!
And this type of madness is the one I want.
I can’t get enough of his smiling face, kind and bright eyes, voice that serenades me, hands that I have held and want to keep holding, conversations that leave me laughing out loud and think about two days later, lips I look at that I want to kiss but haven’t yet…
Yep…we haven’t kissed yet!
And we met twice already. Once with masks and one unmasked.
At our last date I thought we’d make it to first base…but both my Mom and my own conscience got the best of me!
COVID-19 enters my decisions for everything now! It’s like that annoying guest that overhears conversations and asks ‘what was that you were saying’?!
Weird that I mentioned my Mom, I know. Well, it comes down to bubbles.
I define the group of people I spend time with a lot as being part of my ‘bubble’. Right now that is a very small number of people. My mom is a part of that bubble and most of my hesitancy to increase the bubble is to protect her.
Initially, she didn’t like the idea of us controlling our movements just for her but over the past 6 months I think she’s got a sense of comfort from it. She realizes how much we truly love her.
So, when I thought about bringing my new love into my bubble she got nervous. ‘But then he becomes a part of our bubble’. It was a wave of insight that created an immediate ‘of course’ to myself and it took me a micro-sec to agree that I wasn’t making a decision that would only affect me. I knew that intellectually, of course, but yes, I was acting on desire to kiss this beautiful man.
I shared these thoughts with my new love and he agreed, too.
It was our joint decision to protect others and keep our lips to ourselves.
It was not easy, I can tell you that! Only a thousand times in that evening did both of us lean it to kiss. And, honestly, I don’t know when I will be ready to kiss him, now. The reality is COVID-19 is going to stay around for years. I know this will drive me crazy if I can’t give in and kiss him soon. And let me tell you, kissing is my biggest form of communication with someone I’m into…so this all new territory for me!!
In the meantime I have discovered the joy of long distance vibration, though!
I thought he and I could experience some remote control sexual fun.
We went online together, with a shared screen on Zoom, to look at the world of remote vibrators and WOW. That is an industry that should be rocketing right now. I imagine everyone with a sexual desire is investing in something to do with sex right now if they don’t have someone in their space (or even if they do).
Many years ago I remember teasing with the idea of having someone manipulate what’s happening to me with a remote and the thought was erotic. I never followed through, though.
This time, it felt totally right! I thought we’d have fun, he’d be able to control the impulse I get and we could have elevated video sex!
We ordered one that night! It arrived two days later, we played, had a lot of fun and it was a successful night…for all involved! Myself, my man and the pink slide.
While all of this is going on I continue to work on myself.
It’s important for me to remember not to lose myself in another. I think that message is true for everyone. The only reason I can open my heart to this amazing man is because I’ve been working on the free flow of energy and surrender.
I am not holding on to anything in my life, right now. COVID-19 has really taught me that lesson well this year.
I go into the clinic with this feeling and it helps me not get angry at this virus I can’t control or make accurate predictions about.
I look at my career and let go of the hold I had on my medical practice that has already transformed and just watch it continue to morph.
I watch my son and see his summer is like none before and we don’t fight it, instead we enjoy the amazing time we have together and we’ll see what his online school will deliver.
And regarding love, I receive it with open arms, hope, desire and recognition that if I don’t fight nature and allow everything to be, it can only be beautiful and become gifts of the Universe.
This soulmate has met me and I allow it to be! Bring on the remote fun baby!
Love this! You’re such a deep thinker and I love how you look at things so honestly from so many angles. SO COOL that you found a guy, and it’s actually super reassuring to hear that someone I really look up to (you) also has to actively remember not to lose herself in another. You’re inspiring this jaded 29 year old to consider firing up the apps again.
You know online dating is a pain when the people in their 20’s are jaded lmao. You sharing all your journey and process is such a light.
Awwwwww Inanna! You bring tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for the love and respect. I’m honored!