As of this past Saturday, I have officially discontinued the online dating apps, so am now back to drawing board! HOW will I meet men, now? What is the world of dating without being online?
I actually don’t know what it’s like to date without being online. I never dated as a young girl and got married pretty soon after completing medical school so I’m not familiar with walking into a room and making eye contact with someone or flirting openly. Give me a phone and I can text-flirt like I’m a pro but place a man in front of me and my flirtation skills fly out the window!
It won’t be a bar, since I don’t drink and that pressure to find someone at a bar is way too intense for me.
Dancing-my absolute favorite activity (next to sex, of course)! I would love to find a fellow dancer. Not sure how to get that to happen, though. I’m not in my 20’s so going to a club would be really weird-I’d feel like a Grandma in the room! I could take ballroom dance lessons…that would be fun but will it give me an opportunity to find single men? I would have to make sure it was an open entry for singles and not confined to couples joining. Salsa is way too respectful to be a hook-up situation (as sensual as the dance is).
My friends tell me I have the find the activities that men like to do. WHAT would that be? Men are so varied. It’s not about the gender but about what I like to do and would want to do with him, isn’t it?
Hiking-I’m good at flat surfaces but really don’t like the climbing over rocks that I can either twist my ankle on or fall and I’m terrified of heights. BUT, if I have to learn how to hike for love, sure. I’ll need to wait for Spring/Summer for that, though.
Boxing-I LOVE boxing and when I did that last I was so obsessed with the act of boxing that I didn’t allow myself to make eye contact with anything but the bag. But if I do this again I will have a hard time flirting!
Gym-I have been in a gym for almost one year and can’t flirt there-it’s way too intense when we are all trying to lift weights, run in one place for 5 miles or hold a yoga pose and our locker rooms are separate!!
I am still talking with one of the men I met online (the last man standing). He is someone I would like to find mutually enjoyable activities with (sex was one already-I did not wait and think that waiting all depends on what I am looking for and I how I feel with the man at that time.
So to follow up on my last post-it’s still a work in progress-the question of sex. SO far my answer is there is no right time. BUT, I do see that men behave differently after sex too. It’s not just women. They move away for a small bit-like they can’t handle their emotions, either). I like him a lot. He’s smart, funny, interesting and I see a romantic side but we just met and so far he seems to be very different than me in humor and communication style. In one day I made a joke that apparently was funny but mean and when I flirted he said I was ‘too much’. So, not sure what to make of him, yet.
For now, I am going to keep an open mind-will have to find an activity to find new men and hope this last man standing keeps standing…for me!