Today I crossed a huge hurdle. One that many women share.
Body image.
I turned my bedroom into a photo studio and invited a photographer into it…remotely.
To do a Boudoir photo shoot.
Of me.
Pause….
….
This is really huge…
…for me…and for many others I know.
Exposing myself and my insecurities to a camera and someone behind it. Baring my body to reveal itself in its true essence to discover its beauty…and allowing myself to encounter that by meeting my fears and shed them like a snake sheds its skin.
How I feel about my body has nothing to do with my body…it’s all in my mind (my wise photographer’s words). She is truly a magical human being. And she’s saying the truth.
So let me take you back to how this all came to be and journey with you through my most incredible day of eye opening revelations.
Last year, Odlaw (if you read the ‘Where’s Waldo’ post, you’ll be able to relate), suggested I do a Boudoir photo shoot. I didn’t even know what that meant.
Fast forward to this year-not only do I know what Boudoir is, I have developed a confidence about my body and sensuality that has made me explore all sorts of experiences with men and myself, allowing myself to leave all judgment at the door.
But I still hadn’t done a Boudoir photo shoot-and hadn’t thought about it, since that conversation last Spring.
Two weeks ago I came across a facebook ad for a Boudoir photo shoot. I did a double take. I wanted to do that. Immediately.
I needed to do it.
I felt it in my soul. Like a layer was waiting to be peeled off and this was the way it could come off.
I knew I was ready and really wanted to learn how to love every inch of my body.
Because I hadn’t.
It’s been a cerebral, intellectual experience to accept all of my curves and the number on a scale. It hadn’t become a soul-filled acceptance. I knew I needed that to move on to the next level of growth.
I reached out to my sisterhoods and received incredible support-some of them had done these shoots and loved them, discovering themselves and falling in love with their bodies…some had dreamed of doing one their whole life but hadn’t yet…I knew I was on to something.
One of the sisters gave me a name of a photographer who now will be forever the one who made me fall in love with my body. The one who helped me discover my sensuality at a level that I hadn’t before. The one who allowed me to see how the subtle and slow movements of our hands and bodies gives life to cells that are dormant. In speed, the body doesn’t recognize its grace.
Mitzie Gibson. (www.mitziegibson.com) I want to shout this out, not just from the rooftops, but from the skies. Every woman should feel the safety to get a Boudoir photo shoot…and then do it…with Mitzie (and since it can be done remotely, you can literally be anywhere)!
The impact is beyond what I will have the capacity to write, but I will try.
It’s empowering. Emboldens you. Gives you the opportunity to love your body only for you. Shows you how you can feel sexy and beautiful without doing anything other than being with yourself. The combination of play and presence.
I was in a trance like state during the entire shoot. I was so mindful, in the moment with the experience that I didn’t even realize I had two stuffed monkeys and a polar bear with me on the bed as I was showing off my booty!
In my entire life, I hadn’t taken this space for myself. I have done a lot of things for myself and strongly believe in self-care…and pride myself that I really do the things I need for myself. And it’s true that I have been having a solid love affair with myself.
But I hadn’t yet allowed myself to accept all the glorious God given curves and see myself as that Goddess from the outside. Until now.
If I had one wish for all women, it would be to take what is yours and love it with all of your being. Your body is a vessel, a container holding the most precious being in your life-YOU. Respect and love it. Honor it. Enjoy it. Lustfully play with it. Give it rest. Feed it well. Heal it. And really embrace it. Look at it lovingly and with the same longing you would look at a lover. Be Shakti.
Then call Mitzie.